Sometimes in life, we experience some of the best moments while facing some of the worst moments. These random things really plays an important role our growth. Sometimes you have fun and sometimes you get irritation but one thing is for sure that life goes on! So why not to have some more laughs with latest collection of random funny quotes, jokes and more.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.
Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.
A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite...the male ego.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
I wish i was one of those pretty girls who think they're ugly but i am one of those ugly girls who are actually ugly
What do you call a dog without it's hind legs?
Dragon Balls
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Precious, Pleasurable Learning Quotes
It's a pleasure sharing some of the coolest, worth reading, learning wisdom quotes you ever read. After going through them, you will find yourself little better wiser and inspired.
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
- Charles A. Beard
A man who limits his interests limits his life.
- Vincent Price
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms... The strongest reason for people to retain the right to bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss
We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of public money.
- David Crockett
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Dr. Benjamin Franklin
John Adams was a farmer. Abraham Lincoln was a small-town lawyer. Plato, Socrates were teachers. Jesus was a carpenter. To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
- Benedict Valda
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen
If you want to achieve things in life, you've just got to do them, and if you're talented and smart, you'll succeed.
- Juliana Hatfield
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
- Thomas Jefferson.
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs
God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion... We have had thirteen States independent for eleven years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half, for each State. What country before ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion?
- Thomas Jefferson to William S. Smith
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
- Thomas Jefferson
Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?
- Marilyn Monroe
Freedom of expression is the matrix, the indispensible condition, of nearly every other form of freedom.
- Benjamin Cardozo, Palko v. Connecticut
When the voices of democracy are silenced, freedom becomes a hollow concept. No man or woman should be sentenced to the shadows of silence for something he or she has said or written.
- Allen H. Neuharth
There's no genius free from a tincture of madness.
- Seneca
When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.
- Thomas Jefferson
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
- Robert Frost
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell
No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.
- Voltaire
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
- Lord Acton
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.
- John Locke
Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.
- Wayne Dyer
We don't get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? So this is what we've chosen to do with our life.
- Steve Jobs
A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate.
- Eric Idle
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen,not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people.
- Hubert H. Humphrey
The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer.
- Will Rogers
Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.
- Socrates
Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
- Escher
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- Dykstra
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy
A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.
- Thomas Jefferson to his nephew Peter Carr
I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.
- Bern Williams
A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
Jackie Robinson
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
- Charles A. Beard
A man who limits his interests limits his life.
- Vincent Price
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms... The strongest reason for people to retain the right to bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss
We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of public money.
- David Crockett
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Dr. Benjamin Franklin
John Adams was a farmer. Abraham Lincoln was a small-town lawyer. Plato, Socrates were teachers. Jesus was a carpenter. To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
- Benedict Valda
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen
If you want to achieve things in life, you've just got to do them, and if you're talented and smart, you'll succeed.
- Juliana Hatfield
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
- Thomas Jefferson.
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs
God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion... We have had thirteen States independent for eleven years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half, for each State. What country before ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion?
- Thomas Jefferson to William S. Smith
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
- Thomas Jefferson
Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?
- Marilyn Monroe
Freedom of expression is the matrix, the indispensible condition, of nearly every other form of freedom.
- Benjamin Cardozo, Palko v. Connecticut
When the voices of democracy are silenced, freedom becomes a hollow concept. No man or woman should be sentenced to the shadows of silence for something he or she has said or written.
- Allen H. Neuharth
There's no genius free from a tincture of madness.
- Seneca
When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.
- Thomas Jefferson
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
- Robert Frost
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell
No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.
- Voltaire
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
- Lord Acton
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.
- John Locke
Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.
- Wayne Dyer
We don't get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? So this is what we've chosen to do with our life.
- Steve Jobs
A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate.
- Eric Idle
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen,not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people.
- Hubert H. Humphrey
The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer.
- Will Rogers
Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.
- Socrates
Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
- Escher
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- Dykstra
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy
A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.
- Thomas Jefferson to his nephew Peter Carr
I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.
- Bern Williams
A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
Jackie Robinson
Most Funny Comments Ever Made
You, me or everyone else reacts something when we find something funny or strange. Comments play a very important role in judging people. The majority is always right. So whether you are with friends, family ore with beloved, they all need you feedback. What you thing about them or how they are looking ore how good/bad they are doing. Well we will not touch the serious part of it but here we would like to share some of the most funniest comment ever made by millions of people. You can enjoy them while using them further on social sites, parties or events.
Have a nice day, somewhere else!
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look!
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Didn't know you can be in a relationship with thrash.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
If you can't fix it with duct tape or ibuprofen, you're screwed!
I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
Did you have to pay her?
It is better to have loved & lost than to live w/ the psycho the rest of your life!"
Nice deodorant. Must you marinate in it?
You fascinate me and remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have no comical side to me, and I'm a social retard, so I have to steal other people's humor.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
Guys are like public toilet. They are either taken or full of shits...
Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
My office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You're just jealous that the voices talk to me!
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
Is this that mail order bride you've been talking about?
Have a nice day, somewhere else!
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look!
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Didn't know you can be in a relationship with thrash.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
If you can't fix it with duct tape or ibuprofen, you're screwed!
I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
Did you have to pay her?
It is better to have loved & lost than to live w/ the psycho the rest of your life!"
Nice deodorant. Must you marinate in it?
You fascinate me and remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have no comical side to me, and I'm a social retard, so I have to steal other people's humor.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
Guys are like public toilet. They are either taken or full of shits...
Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
My office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You're just jealous that the voices talk to me!
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
Is this that mail order bride you've been talking about?