I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.
How strange when people think they're funny, but they're just annoying.
Try saying 'Cops' without your lips touching.
There's always that one person, who always catches you doing something weird.
Sneaking your seat belt on slowly when you see a cop.
That awkward moment when you try to high five someone and you both miss.
You are not a photographer.. You just have an overpriced camera.
I wish I could download food.
Life is so much funnier when you have a naughty mind.
Be sure that while climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
Why don't you learn from my mistakes? It takes half your life to learn from your own.
Hi. Are you accepting any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
Do you stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
I wanna scream, and shout, and let it all out! - Me on the toilet..
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please...
You changed your cell phone for an extra inch.. I hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot! Everyone can catch a cold!
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? - Woody Allen
You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the Titanic had paying customers. - Anonymous
How strange when people think they're funny, but they're just annoying.
Try saying 'Cops' without your lips touching.
There's always that one person, who always catches you doing something weird.
Sneaking your seat belt on slowly when you see a cop.
That awkward moment when you try to high five someone and you both miss.
You are not a photographer.. You just have an overpriced camera.
I wish I could download food.
Life is so much funnier when you have a naughty mind.
Be sure that while climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
Why don't you learn from my mistakes? It takes half your life to learn from your own.
Hi. Are you accepting any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
Do you stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
I wanna scream, and shout, and let it all out! - Me on the toilet..
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please...
You changed your cell phone for an extra inch.. I hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot! Everyone can catch a cold!
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? - Woody Allen
You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the Titanic had paying customers. - Anonymous