Cute Funny Status Messages

'Post these best, funny, cute and naughty status messages to make sure they like, share, comment and retweet.'

• I am not dying for a stable relationship but yes.. a stable connectivity matter a lot!
• If we make social networking blogs for animals, their status would be like:
  Chicken: If you don't find any status update from my side, It means I am being served at restaurant.
  Mosquito: Somehow skipped from someone's footsteps. Huh! There is so much risk and danger in life.
  Cat: My 10th kitten is asking her dad's name. I don't even remember!
  Pig: Oh Gosh, they throw the gossips that I'm spreading flu.. What the hell!
  Dog: It's raining!
• Free Food? with WiFi? Okay, I'll go.
• oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
• Really thankful to school for teaching us texting without looking.
• If you think I hate you... I probably do, Goodbye.
• Just Wondering that she is 18 and pregnant will come back on 34 as grand-mom.
• Love is quite strange and funny thing. No matter how hard I try and try, I just can't say goodbye.
• You must learn swimming because you're missing 3/4 of the world.
• Hard work never kills you - it just keeps you away from social networks!
• You are a proof that God has a good sense of humor.
• I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
• Shout out to all the 90's baby's, with no babies!
• Remember me? I was your friend - when you were single.
• I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.
• Celebrating Valentine’s Day with my liver.
• I finally figured out what mosquitoes are for - they are God's way to make us slap ourselves!
• Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
• Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
• Yes, I know I can't sing. Yes, I'm going to keep singing anyway.
• I am practicing my signature over and over again , in case I become famous.
• Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I want your hug, let me do it forever.
• I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
• Party instructions: Walk in. Eat as much as you can. Walk out.
  Girl: "I love you" Boy: "I love me too"
• Everyone has that one friend that makes them LOL.
• For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
• I want to surround myself with funny people and make sure everyone has a good time.
• For others it may Valentine's Day, but for me it's Thursday.
• The amount of sleep required by the average person is just five minutes more.
• I'm writing a story about a man with a small garden. It doesn't have much of a plot.