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Very Funny Drinking/Alcohol Quotes

'People drink alcohol to forget tensions and to have sound sleep but there is funny side of it too. Lets find it out with funny quotations and Excuses about drinking.'

Drunk

"Lets get drunk and tell each others everything we're too afraid to say sober."

"I drink to forget I drink."
- Joe E. Lewis

"They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst." - Scottish Proverb
My Drink Thirst

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carrey

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

I go angry when people ask me "Do you drink?" Like of course, I drink, I have water every day and when I want to loosen up a bit I have a juice box.

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake."

"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. "
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober."
- William Butler Yeats

"An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor."
- Dr. Alvan L. Barach

"I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter" - Anon
Give up

"Being half drunk is just another way of saying -your almost there."

"I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know."

"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Wine is bottled poetry."
- R L Stevenson

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar."

"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
- Clement Freud

"I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me."
- Brendan Behan

"Never cry over split milk. It could've been whiskey."
- Pappy from Maverick

"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
- F Scott Fitzgerald

"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
- Anon

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
- George Burns

"Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink."
- Anon

"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W C Fields

Stop Stop, you must read More Funny Quotes. Cheers...:)