I heard you are a player. Nice to meet you. I am the Coach.
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Everyday I make promise I'll go to bed early. Every night I break.
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When I wake up in the morning and stretch, I make baby dinosaur noises.
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That one friends you have that always says "I'm never drinking again" after party.
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What doesn't kill you makes you smaller.
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That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and you laughing at same time.
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Best joke ever: My love life.
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Girls are most talented creature on earth. Because they listen half, understand quarter but explain it double.
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I told myself I wouldn't give one dash today... so far so good!
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Can you do me a favor? Stand in front of my car. I need to test my breaks.
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A quiet man is thinking man. A quite woman is usually mad.
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