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Fifteen Funny Quotes For Day To Day Life

'15 Hilarious Funny Life Quotes to have enjoyment, laughter and fun in day to day life. Amusing quote i.e. Sometimes I Laugh so hard that I feel like six pack is coming on.'

  • If I die today, for the love of God, someone please clear my browser history.
  • I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
  • When Life Gives You Curves
  • I trust my dog to guard home but never when it comes to pizza.
  • Admit it.. You've Googled yourself.
  • Mae were born between a woman's leg and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them There is not place like home.
  • Farts: The screams of trapped poop.
  • That awkward moment when a teacher tries to be funny.
  • Vodka mixes well everything, except decisions.
  • Sometimes I Laugh so hard that I feel like six pack is coming on.
  • I am not a slow person. I just have a speed limit.
  • No matters how old you are, when ketchup bottle farts, It's funny.
  • Forgetting to remove you contact lenses and waking up the next morning thinking your blindness was cured.
  • I wish I could forgot you like i forget everything I studied right before exams.
  • I am actually not funny. I am actually really mean and people just think I am joking.
  • I was born a week early, so I have been running late ever since to make up for it.

#. Don't smoke cigarettes there are cooler ways to die.

#. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

#. Excuse me, I found your nose. It was in my business.... again.

#. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!

#. Maybe I’ll become an evil genius and destroy the world and THEN I’ll feel better.

#. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

#. My Reality Check bounced.

#. My life’s really not so awful–it just seems that way when I’m awake.

#. Never trust a person who isn’t having at least one crisis.