Twenty Short Funny Life Quotes

'There is a big difference between taking breath and living life perfectly. God has not send us on earth to live an ordinary life. We all are capable of doing remarkable things but fear, doubts and lack of imaginations drag us back. We really need to read something which let us know about our powers. Well, then these Life Quotes can really gear-up us while putting positive energy to accomplish our desires. With twenty most hilarious, funny and short life quotes, you can spread happiness, awareness while leaving your footprints everywhere.'

-9. Someone asked me what you used to do before marriage? Me: I got emotional and replied: Whatever I liked..

-8. Hearing about daughter in law's 2 affairs - Husband got dies.. Hearing about 4 affair of daughter inn law's - Father in law got died.. But Mother in law was quit.... Why.... Because she was used to be daughter in law....
'Nutshell, Shock happens everywhere at every step if life...'

-7. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
In Depth: Yes, everyone is dying for success so if you are.. 1st, you must follow above three rules to succeed. You must have a wish, an imagination, a vision. 2nd, you must be healthy, your backbone should be strong enough to bear all hiccups and the last but not least.. you must have that sense of humor. Yes, you must be capable of laughing and making people laugh. This gonna add a very strong point in your victory.

-6. Success in life generally creates arrogance, and the full potential of one's growth is lessened. Beware of this.

-5. Life is short, SMILE while you still have teeth.
Yes, day, months and years pass like water falls from mountain. So we must en-cash every moment of life with lots of laugh and fun. These things make it so live and beautiful.

-4. It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men. - Mae West
What a deep thought! Your power of making things interesting really counts. Your positive attitude, capability of resolving problems and will to live everyday really differentiate you from others.

-3.) Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me, I'll laugh at you.
A jolly person finds a reason in every situation to laugh. Although there are lots of hurdles in every step so what! If you dare to go, you can. You have to do all possible or impossible things in this one life. So never think too much, just do it.

-2.) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. - Tori Filler
So practical. We should not worry in going forward in any tough task. Just do it with full energy and positivity without thinking of results. Two things are for sure either success or a wonderful experience for next big thing.

-1.) Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. - George Bernard Shaw
Living simple is easy but it needs gut to dare to live a different life. Sometimes alcohol helps you to express what you are. Don't believe this? Ask you listeners who were in you company last night!

0.) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
This quote says that always have a safe side for yourself so that when you feel like dying, you can leave that path. Enjoy but take good care of all other things.

1.) Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
- Josh Billings

1a.) Last night I dream I was eating a giant marshmallow... When I woke up my pillow was gone.

2.) Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
-Yiddish Proverb

2a.) If you can not see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

3.) I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

3a.) I didn't trip I was just testing gravity... yeah well it still works!

4.) Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest.
- John Walters

5.) I feel that life is short, so we should be disciplined, but at the same time we should have a good time.
- Wyclef Jean

5a.) An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.

6.) Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
- Christopher Isherwood

6a.) I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

7.) Time is long but life is short.
- Stevie Wonder

7a.) Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

8.) Country people do not behave as if they think life is short; they live on the principle that it is long, and savor variations of the kind best appreciated if most days are the same.
- Edward Hoagland

9.) Life is short, and it is here to be lived.
- Kate Winslet

10.) Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
- Lou Erickson

10.a) Is there a meaning to life? Sure, but it probably has something to do with corned beef.

11.) People always say life is short. I've never been convinced of that - mine seems to have a tendency to go on and on.
- John Malkovich

12.) I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles Schulz

13. Yes, you can lose somebody overnight, yes, your whole life can be turned upside down. Life is short. It can come and go like a feather in the wind.
- Shania Twain

14.) Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

15.) Life is short. Ricky and I realize how lucky we were. We want to be together all the time.
- Christie Brinkley

16.) Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers quotes

17.) Life is short. I'm 47 years old. I've got 10 years to go where I can be the best I can be. I want those 10 years to be precious, not like before, cranking two or three movies a year. I've made a ton of movies in my life, but so what?
- Jean Claude Van Damme

18.) Life is short and progress is slow.
- Gabriel Lippmann

19.) I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.
Doug E. Fresh

20.) Life is short and if you're looking for extension, you had best do well. 'Cause there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell.
- Ben Harper

When I was younger I probably didn't understand something basic about tact, but I think it kept faint-hearted people at arm's distance and that's not such a bad thing, because life is short and I know the kind of people I want to work with.
- Debra Winger

more clever

Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.
- Michael Caine

I'm not trying to impress you, but I can say "Voldemort" out loud.

Snowmen must be keeping their money in Snow banks!

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
- Hermione Gingold


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