Sometimes simple things seem so complicated and vice-verse. We must keep our minds chill and try to search something to laugh at. Birth and death is bitter truth so why not to make the moments so good in between these to points. In continuation with this zeal, I am here sharing some of best hand-picked quotations to have real dose of entertainment in our life. These are general practical things, happen with us on routine basis, so lets find something positive in those daily happenings.
Sometime men surprise why women think so long but the truth is women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking than men actually spend time thinking!
Philosophy of Marriage:
At the beginning, every wife treats her hubby as GOD..
One year later...
Somehow don't know understand - why... Alphabets get reversed!!
My Dream Job is not needing one!
Please do not test my gangster...
Before going back to home, you surprise to calculate that today you just worked for 30 minutes only!
Sorry I am so late means I don't want to join!
Every sunrise gives me a chance to learn something new but it also make me forget ten other things I learnt yesterday!
Whenever I enter in my workplace, I feel so deserved of getting overtime from the first minute.
During the day, people don't believe in ghosts but at night, they become open minded about it!
The moment when a male or female comes to know that from last so many months he/she was chatting to the same gender.
Now some Pranks:
Once a man goes somewhere in his boat, suddenly storm comes but he doesn't know how to swim! So he starts praying to God, pl stop it and I will donate one thousand dollars to needy people!
And the storm stop! After five minutes, he laughs and says who needy, which donation?
And the storm starts again? I again start crying and prays to God, I was just saying where I will find those needy people and when to withdraw money for that noble cause!! Lol
When I feel so confused, and need an expert's advice, I stand in front of the mirror!
I don't find myself funny at at. I am actually very cruel and blunt and people mistaken me with joking..
The moment when you are well and in hospital and every of relative comes and asks - How this happened?
And you make the same story again and again. Oh God please!
The time when your boss comes to know that you are not capable and you don't argue, somehow agreed!
The fear of wife when you receive a missed call night and cell in near to your wife!
Please God save me.
Love to save money but when it come, it flies like anything. Lol. You will never!
Waiting for Sunday but when it come, you actually sleep all the day and feel more tired than week days!
So confused to marry with the girl you love.
Someone catches your eyes while you're staring at girl while she's walking.
AT cloth shop, finding your choice and end up buying craps. Well don't' worry, it happens with everybody!
Coming at 22:00 and finding everyone sleeping, having fear of making what excuse to your wife again!
Never Heard Before
Here, we come again with very fresh and never heard before jokes mixed with lovely quotations. This earth is always having some great show and your life is a ticket for them. SO don't miss it. When you response in as joyful way, means that you are living in a good way. The birth of new era takes place within ourselves. Always remember the secret of doing great things is doing them with perfect focus and a little break. Doing focus is your part and making you entertain is our part. So here we move:
On the first night of marriage:
Man: Dear, Do I have permission?
Wife: Yes!
Husband: Keep his work like crazies till morning and his wife gets unwell.
Next day they go to in-laws home.
After dinner, man asks from his mother in law: Now, do I have permission?
Wife: Shouts, Dad, don;t give him permission!
Dad:from where u bring this new chair?
Son:yesterday i go to interview they said to me take your seat.so, I took the new chair. submitted by: saivamsi
In a stormy night!
Man reaches at pizza shop..
Waiter: Are you married?
Man: Of-course! It is common sense. Otherwise no mother would have sent her son to buy pizza in this kind of dangerous night!
4 crazy men were running to pick-up the train. Two out of them were catch the train. People said: well done!
They said: It is not because another two wanted to go and we were just came to see-off them!
Man: Yesterday night, one man me robbed with on knife point.
Another: But you always keep gun with you.
Man: Yes, but I hided it from get it stolen.
Village girl: What is this sent message?
Another: Oh no, IT is so simple, sent message means perfumed message!
One man gets very angry from his dog and decides to leave.
He takes his dog to very far road and leaves.
When he reaches home back, he finds the dog is at home.
He again goes and leaves the dog at very big forest but when he comes back to home, he find dog again at home.
Now this time, he decides to leave him on a very complicated place, and he was on his way to return home, he calls his wife and asks if the dogs comes back?
His wife says: yes..
He asks his wife to send the dog as I forget the way!
An angry guy was sitting in park doing nothing.
His friend comes and asks: Hey what are you doing here?
Guy: I am taking a revenge!
Friend: To whom?
Guy: From Time!
Friend:How?
Guy: Time has spoiled me, now I am spoiling the time!
Foe beautiful Eyes: Look for positive in others!
For beautiful Lips: Speaks words that makes everyone feel good!
And for Wisdom: Motivate everyone and let let them feel ignored!
Read more Funny Quotes to have lot of laughter.
On the first night of marriage:
Man: Dear, Do I have permission?
Wife: Yes!
Husband: Keep his work like crazies till morning and his wife gets unwell.
Next day they go to in-laws home.
After dinner, man asks from his mother in law: Now, do I have permission?
Wife: Shouts, Dad, don;t give him permission!
Dad:from where u bring this new chair?
Son:yesterday i go to interview they said to me take your seat.so, I took the new chair. submitted by: saivamsi
In a stormy night!
Man reaches at pizza shop..
Waiter: Are you married?
Man: Of-course! It is common sense. Otherwise no mother would have sent her son to buy pizza in this kind of dangerous night!
4 crazy men were running to pick-up the train. Two out of them were catch the train. People said: well done!
They said: It is not because another two wanted to go and we were just came to see-off them!
Man: Yesterday night, one man me robbed with on knife point.
Another: But you always keep gun with you.
Man: Yes, but I hided it from get it stolen.
Village girl: What is this sent message?
Another: Oh no, IT is so simple, sent message means perfumed message!
One man gets very angry from his dog and decides to leave.
He takes his dog to very far road and leaves.
When he reaches home back, he finds the dog is at home.
He again goes and leaves the dog at very big forest but when he comes back to home, he find dog again at home.
Now this time, he decides to leave him on a very complicated place, and he was on his way to return home, he calls his wife and asks if the dogs comes back?
His wife says: yes..
He asks his wife to send the dog as I forget the way!
An angry guy was sitting in park doing nothing.
His friend comes and asks: Hey what are you doing here?
Guy: I am taking a revenge!
Friend: To whom?
Guy: From Time!
Friend:How?
Guy: Time has spoiled me, now I am spoiling the time!
Foe beautiful Eyes: Look for positive in others!
For beautiful Lips: Speaks words that makes everyone feel good!
And for Wisdom: Motivate everyone and let let them feel ignored!
Read more Funny Quotes to have lot of laughter.
Live Today
Year ends, new year starts! Some are happy, some are sad while others are looking forward to make more great life ahead. Time flies very fast but you can use it best by living 'TODAY'. It is the best day because present matters a lot in our lives. We do lots of hard work to make our future bright and strong but we forget to enjoy our daily hours. There is always something in everything you can enjoy. So re-look your mission statements and do necessary amendments. It is not your birthday when you should feel special, instead try to make every day, every hour special. Change your routine life and add something creative. Seriousness doesn't always bring good results, but sometimes being funny works.
There are some really good things everyone can try, and those are:
1. Be gentle and put your views in soft way.
2. Family comes first, after all you do big efforts to make their lives easy.
3. Love is essential part of life so never forget to value it.
4. Give importance to discipline and understand the importance of time.
5. Appraise people for their good things.
6. Accept the people the way they are.
7. Never lose confidence, you are unique and best.
8. Keep faith in God and done' be restless.
9. Never compromise with honesty ad integrity.
10. Don't be harsh and rude, in anger, try to leave that place.
11. Without having a laugh, your day is wasted. Remember that!
Apply these simple but very important habits in your life and be an idol for everybody.
Here are some users submitted jokes to make you giggle:
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
A no idear! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idear!
submitted by: Anna
There are some really good things everyone can try, and those are:
1. Be gentle and put your views in soft way.
2. Family comes first, after all you do big efforts to make their lives easy.
3. Love is essential part of life so never forget to value it.
4. Give importance to discipline and understand the importance of time.
5. Appraise people for their good things.
6. Accept the people the way they are.
7. Never lose confidence, you are unique and best.
8. Keep faith in God and done' be restless.
9. Never compromise with honesty ad integrity.
10. Don't be harsh and rude, in anger, try to leave that place.
11. Without having a laugh, your day is wasted. Remember that!
Apply these simple but very important habits in your life and be an idol for everybody.
Here are some users submitted jokes to make you giggle:
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
A no idear! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idear!
submitted by: Anna
All Hilarious Funny Quotes
'Now it is your turn to enjoy while reading, watching and sharing these funny hilarious quotes and images because humor is real life. Things never happen itself, so humor! You have to make effort to make people laugh. Amusement, fun and comedy are great tool to win their hearts. You can use them to get success in every affair of your life. You can be more lovable and well-known person. So never hesitate and live life in a wonderful way. Your efforts can make their day so happy and delightful. It costs nothing. Wish you good luck.'
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Missing Common-Sense
Sometimes, absence of common sense rally makes the moment so hilarious. Some people make sense without sense. Confusing? Haha, check it out here!
My Parents are so lucky while having a child like me. Can they blame the same?
I am a bad influence but Damn.. I am fun!
Control, it's not friday yet!
Is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them
My Parents are so lucky while having a child like me. Can they blame the same?
I am a bad influence but Damn.. I am fun!
Control, it's not friday yet!
Is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them
Funny Random Quotes, Moments, Jokes
Sometimes in life, we experience some of the best moments while facing some of the worst moments. These random things really plays an important role our growth. Sometimes you have fun and sometimes you get irritation but one thing is for sure that life goes on! So why not to have some more laughs with latest collection of random funny quotes, jokes and more.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.
Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.
A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite...the male ego.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
I wish i was one of those pretty girls who think they're ugly but i am one of those ugly girls who are actually ugly
What do you call a dog without it's hind legs?
Dragon Balls
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.
Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.
A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite...the male ego.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
I wish i was one of those pretty girls who think they're ugly but i am one of those ugly girls who are actually ugly
What do you call a dog without it's hind legs?
Dragon Balls
Most Funny Comments Ever Made
You, me or everyone else reacts something when we find something funny or strange. Comments play a very important role in judging people. The majority is always right. So whether you are with friends, family ore with beloved, they all need you feedback. What you thing about them or how they are looking ore how good/bad they are doing. Well we will not touch the serious part of it but here we would like to share some of the most funniest comment ever made by millions of people. You can enjoy them while using them further on social sites, parties or events.
Have a nice day, somewhere else!
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look!
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Didn't know you can be in a relationship with thrash.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
If you can't fix it with duct tape or ibuprofen, you're screwed!
I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
Did you have to pay her?
It is better to have loved & lost than to live w/ the psycho the rest of your life!"
Nice deodorant. Must you marinate in it?
You fascinate me and remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have no comical side to me, and I'm a social retard, so I have to steal other people's humor.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
Guys are like public toilet. They are either taken or full of shits...
Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
My office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You're just jealous that the voices talk to me!
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
Is this that mail order bride you've been talking about?
Have a nice day, somewhere else!
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look!
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Didn't know you can be in a relationship with thrash.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
If you can't fix it with duct tape or ibuprofen, you're screwed!
I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
Did you have to pay her?
It is better to have loved & lost than to live w/ the psycho the rest of your life!"
Nice deodorant. Must you marinate in it?
You fascinate me and remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have no comical side to me, and I'm a social retard, so I have to steal other people's humor.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
Guys are like public toilet. They are either taken or full of shits...
Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
My office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You're just jealous that the voices talk to me!
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
Is this that mail order bride you've been talking about?
Powerful Women Quotes - Favoring Women, Making Fun of Men
From the decades, men are ruling the world but now scenario has been changed! Women are now self independent. Girls have proved their intelligence. They all are occupying top positions/posts. They are really doing so well in every field. So we are sharing powerful Women Quotes and letting your know about women empowerment. Now women can confidently say 'Who needs man'. Here are some quotations about men. These may insult them so use them smartly and enjoy!
Men should be saying "I want to become a woman." The world would be a far better place if more men wanted to become women, than women wanted to become men.
- Albert Halsey
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
- Will Rogers
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
- Robin Morgan
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
- Rita Rudner
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones.
- Katherine Hepburn
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis
Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy, they've been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate.
- Barbara De Angelis
When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in a woman?
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend.
- Pink
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Timothy Leary
I'm a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.
- Elizabeth Taylor
I wish someone would have told me, that just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married.
- Marlo Thomas
I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend and my best friend is my wife. Who could ask for anything more?
-John Lennon
If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin
I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
- Gwyneth Paltrow
My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
- Lee Trevino
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It's how good of buddies he is with his children.
Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness and teach them how to cry.
- Joan Baez
I've reached the age where competence is a turn on.
- Billy Joel
I have yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worried about combining marriage, children and a career. I've yet to find one where men were worried about the same thing.
- Gloria Steinem
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
- Helen Rowland
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.
- Sermon Fodder
I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.
- Yoko Ono
The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
 |
| Quotes favoring women - Funny |
- Albert Halsey
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
- Will Rogers
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
- Robin Morgan
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
- Rita Rudner
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones.
- Katherine Hepburn
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis
Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy, they've been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate.
- Barbara De Angelis
When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in a woman?
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend.
- Pink
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Timothy Leary
I'm a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.
- Elizabeth Taylor
I wish someone would have told me, that just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married.
- Marlo Thomas
I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend and my best friend is my wife. Who could ask for anything more?
-John Lennon
If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin
I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
- Gwyneth Paltrow
My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
- Lee Trevino
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It's how good of buddies he is with his children.
Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness and teach them how to cry.
- Joan Baez
I've reached the age where competence is a turn on.
- Billy Joel
I have yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worried about combining marriage, children and a career. I've yet to find one where men were worried about the same thing.
- Gloria Steinem
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
- Helen Rowland
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.
- Sermon Fodder
I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.
- Yoko Ono
The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
Funny Questions
'Some people seem good but when they open their mouth, it kills. Their questions are so irritating that they feel so much annoyed. So we are collecting those Funny questions just to give you more reason to laugh on!'
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
When we say our mind wanders - where does it go?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Do stupid people know they're stupid or should I tell them?
How much milk is there in the Milky Way?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Do mailmen deliver there own mail?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Who killed the Dead Sea?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
How did a fool and his money get together?
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
What do they call coffee breaks at Tea Company?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Q; What washes up on small beaches
A: Microwaves
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
Do fish get thirsty?
If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Some More-
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
Q: What is a baby's motto?
A: If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A: A very nervous postman.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Problem, He sleeps at night.
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
When we say our mind wanders - where does it go?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Do stupid people know they're stupid or should I tell them?
How much milk is there in the Milky Way?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Do mailmen deliver there own mail?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Who killed the Dead Sea?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
How did a fool and his money get together?
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
What do they call coffee breaks at Tea Company?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Q; What washes up on small beaches
A: Microwaves
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
Do fish get thirsty?
If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Some More-
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
Q: What is a baby's motto?
A: If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A: A very nervous postman.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Problem, He sleeps at night.
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.
Hilarious Office/Management Quotations
'Enjoy with our latest collection of Funny Hilarious Office Quotations and Sayings. No matters, whether you're and employee or employer, you gonna have good time while reading them'
Most important - Make my designation as confusing as my job description!
You've been great in firing all employees of my company, Here is your reward - Your own termination letter!
My company's performance is purely dependent on my mood!
Scam.. I think it's a great example of teamwork and the spirit of 'I Can'
On the other hand, management views your salary as glass that's not half-empty but half-full.
A boo sis such a perfectionist that he proof-checks printed brochures before making his presentations to new clients every-time!
you wanted a challenging position and I gave it to you... What can I do if you now find it financially challenging.
Boss willing, the contract will be yours!
Free system looks logical but what's the problem in continuing with this mindlessly simple system of agency commission.
Have you ever consider a career option in the image change business.
There is nothing wrong sir! I am just trying to set the right ambiance to study the management classic recommended by you!
Yes, I did believe in life after death till the management declared me a deadwood.!
Just writing a good speech is not enough.. You must also ensure good number of people to applaud at the right place.
What I am looking for is..a low-wage island.
That's called innovation. A real life story with 100% comedy.
Our senior managers must be looking a younger lot - with all these bills of hair-weaving and hair dyeing on their expenses account.
The day that film star comes to your constituency to campaign for your rival. We will run his latest movie on the local cable.
Now cellphone tariffs are tailor-made for people like us.. who don't use their out trays!
REport from quality control boss.. all your decisions have been graded as bad quality!
Most important - Make my designation as confusing as my job description!
You've been great in firing all employees of my company, Here is your reward - Your own termination letter!
My company's performance is purely dependent on my mood!
Scam.. I think it's a great example of teamwork and the spirit of 'I Can'
On the other hand, management views your salary as glass that's not half-empty but half-full.
A boo sis such a perfectionist that he proof-checks printed brochures before making his presentations to new clients every-time!
you wanted a challenging position and I gave it to you... What can I do if you now find it financially challenging.
Boss willing, the contract will be yours!
Free system looks logical but what's the problem in continuing with this mindlessly simple system of agency commission.
Have you ever consider a career option in the image change business.
There is nothing wrong sir! I am just trying to set the right ambiance to study the management classic recommended by you!
Yes, I did believe in life after death till the management declared me a deadwood.!
Just writing a good speech is not enough.. You must also ensure good number of people to applaud at the right place.
What I am looking for is..a low-wage island.
That's called innovation. A real life story with 100% comedy.
Our senior managers must be looking a younger lot - with all these bills of hair-weaving and hair dyeing on their expenses account.
The day that film star comes to your constituency to campaign for your rival. We will run his latest movie on the local cable.
Now cellphone tariffs are tailor-made for people like us.. who don't use their out trays!
REport from quality control boss.. all your decisions have been graded as bad quality!
Hilarious Exercise Quotes
Regular exercise keeps you healthy but lazy people don't favor it. So they give lots of illogical but funny excuses to avoid that hard work. So here are hilarious exercise quotes to have lots of giggle together.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
~ Robert M. Hutchins
I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers
Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia.
~ Barbara Ehrenreich
I Exercise - run my mouth, push my luck, and jump to conclusions.
Why don't you Put some fun between your legs by exercising?
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
- Marsha Doble
Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don’t need it: if you are sick you should not take it.
I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
~ Neil Armstrong
Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don't need it: if you are sick you should not take it.
- Henry Ford
Does this shirt makes me look thin?
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
~ Phyllis Diller
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
- Mark Twain
Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.
- Cher
Exercise is done against one's wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse.
~ George Sheehan
SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
- SIOUXSIE Q
Exercise? More like extra fries.
It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigor.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
Any workout which does not involve a certain minimum of danger or responsibility does not improve the body - it just wears it out.
- Norman Mailer
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
~ Robert M. Hutchins
I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers
Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia.
~ Barbara Ehrenreich
I Exercise - run my mouth, push my luck, and jump to conclusions.
Why don't you Put some fun between your legs by exercising?
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
- Marsha Doble
Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don’t need it: if you are sick you should not take it.
I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
~ Neil Armstrong
Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don't need it: if you are sick you should not take it.
- Henry Ford
Does this shirt makes me look thin?
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
~ Phyllis Diller
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
- Mark Twain
Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.
- Cher
Exercise is done against one's wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse.
~ George Sheehan
SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
- SIOUXSIE Q
Exercise? More like extra fries.
It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigor.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
Any workout which does not involve a certain minimum of danger or responsibility does not improve the body - it just wears it out.
- Norman Mailer
Facetious Neighbors Sayings
'The facetious quotations about Neighbors to give you another chance of making fun of them.'
A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
- Arthur Baer
Serivce may vary according to my mood and your attitude.
Love thy neighbour - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace.
- Barry McGuire
If you think your bundle of dirty clothes too heavy, try picking up your neighbor's.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
- Gilbert K Chesterton
Sweep first before your own door, before you sweep the doorsteps of your neighbors
- Swedish Proverb
There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbours will say.
- Cyril Connolly
We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbor.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.
- Billy Wilder
If you want to annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them.
- Pietro Aretino
The dearest things in the world are our neighbor's eyes; they cost everybody more than anything else in housekeeping.
- Sydney Smith
Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
- Franklin P. Jones
Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.
- Dave Barry
Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
A bad neighbor is a misfortune, as much as a good one is a great blessing.
- Hesiod
A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
- Arthur Baer
Serivce may vary according to my mood and your attitude.
Love thy neighbour - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace.
- Barry McGuire
If you think your bundle of dirty clothes too heavy, try picking up your neighbor's.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
- Gilbert K Chesterton
Sweep first before your own door, before you sweep the doorsteps of your neighbors
- Swedish Proverb
There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbours will say.
- Cyril Connolly
We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbor.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.
- Billy Wilder
If you want to annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them.
- Pietro Aretino
The dearest things in the world are our neighbor's eyes; they cost everybody more than anything else in housekeeping.
- Sydney Smith
Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
- Franklin P. Jones
Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.
- Dave Barry
Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
A bad neighbor is a misfortune, as much as a good one is a great blessing.
- Hesiod
Funny Short One Liner Jokes/Quotes
'Sometimes one right line is good enough to break the ice. Here presenting those great short one liner funny jokes and Funny Quotes to let you have best time ever.'
What do you call a bunch of liberals in a basement? A whine cellar.
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
- Jimi Hendrix
You cannot play with me unless you blow me. I am Balloon!
I have a friend named Kay. We call him K for short.
Wanna hear a joke? women's rights.
As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
I can handle pain until it hurts.
The shortest horror story: The last person on earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the Door.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
Due to budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is black.
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Regards - Banana.
Yo mama's so short, she don't roll dice, she pushes them.
Why can't helen keller drive? because she's a woman
How do you make a dead baby float? One scoop dead baby, one scoop ice cream, add root beer.
Why am I single? Because I treat girls right.
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
An argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.
I am born a pessimist - My blood group is B Negative.
What's the difference between a liberal and a puppy? The puppy stops whining when it grows up.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
What do you call a bunch of liberals in a basement? A whine cellar.
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
- Jimi Hendrix
You cannot play with me unless you blow me. I am Balloon!
I have a friend named Kay. We call him K for short.
Wanna hear a joke? women's rights.
As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
I can handle pain until it hurts.
The shortest horror story: The last person on earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the Door.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
Due to budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is black.
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Regards - Banana.
Yo mama's so short, she don't roll dice, she pushes them.
Why can't helen keller drive? because she's a woman
How do you make a dead baby float? One scoop dead baby, one scoop ice cream, add root beer.
Why am I single? Because I treat girls right.
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
An argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.
I am born a pessimist - My blood group is B Negative.
What's the difference between a liberal and a puppy? The puppy stops whining when it grows up.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
Entertaining Evan Esar Quotes
'Now, time to enjoy the very entertaining humor quotes of Evan Esar's (American humorist).'
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
A husband is like a fire--he goes out when unattended.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow.
[Anger is] the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
A husband is like a fire--he goes out when unattended.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow.
[Anger is] the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Family Holidays
"My Dad is Irish and my Mum is Iranian, which basically means we spent most of our family holidays in customs."
Read all Funny Family Quotes here.
Read all Funny Family Quotes here.
Very Funny Drinking/Alcohol Quotes
'People drink alcohol to forget tensions and to have sound sleep but there is funny side of it too. Lets find it out with funny quotations and Excuses about drinking.'
"Lets get drunk and tell each others everything we're too afraid to say sober."
"I drink to forget I drink."
- Joe E. Lewis
"They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst." - Scottish Proverb
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carrey
I go angry when people ask me "Do you drink?" Like of course, I drink, I have water every day and when I want to loosen up a bit I have a juice box.
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake."
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. "
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober."
- William Butler Yeats
"An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor."
- Dr. Alvan L. Barach
"I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter" - Anon
"Being half drunk is just another way of saying -your almost there."
"I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Wine is bottled poetry."
- R L Stevenson
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar."
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
- Clement Freud
"I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me."
- Brendan Behan
"Never cry over split milk. It could've been whiskey."
- Pappy from Maverick
"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
- F Scott Fitzgerald
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
- Anon
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
- George Burns
"Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink."
- Anon
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W C Fields
Stop Stop, you must read More Funny Quotes. Cheers...:)
"Lets get drunk and tell each others everything we're too afraid to say sober."
"I drink to forget I drink."
- Joe E. Lewis
"They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst." - Scottish Proverb
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carrey
I go angry when people ask me "Do you drink?" Like of course, I drink, I have water every day and when I want to loosen up a bit I have a juice box.
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake."
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. "
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober."
- William Butler Yeats
"An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor."
- Dr. Alvan L. Barach
"I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter" - Anon
"Being half drunk is just another way of saying -your almost there."
"I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Wine is bottled poetry."
- R L Stevenson
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar."
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
- Clement Freud
"I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me."
- Brendan Behan
"Never cry over split milk. It could've been whiskey."
- Pappy from Maverick
"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
- F Scott Fitzgerald
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
- Anon
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
- George Burns
"Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink."
- Anon
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W C Fields
Stop Stop, you must read More Funny Quotes. Cheers...:)
Advantage
"My haters only have one good advantage over me. They can kiss me somewhere I can not do myself."
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The advantage of love at first sight is that it delays a second sight.
- Natalie Clifford Barney
I was feeling a lot of confidence, so I wanted to take advantage of that and keep playing.
- Gabriela Sabatini
A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage.
- Robert McNamara
I often want to cry. That is the only advantage women have over men - at least they can cry.
- Jean Rhys
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Thomas Jefferson
Celebrity is the advantage of being known to people who we don't know, and who don't know us.
- Nicolas de Chamfort
One advantage in keeping a diary is that you become aware with reassuring clarity of the changes which you constantly suffer.
- Franz Kafka
My background playing soccer gave me a natural advantage over many of the American-born players.
- Hakeem Olajuwon
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The advantage of love at first sight is that it delays a second sight.
- Natalie Clifford Barney
I was feeling a lot of confidence, so I wanted to take advantage of that and keep playing.
- Gabriela Sabatini
A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage.
- Robert McNamara
I often want to cry. That is the only advantage women have over men - at least they can cry.
- Jean Rhys
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Thomas Jefferson
Celebrity is the advantage of being known to people who we don't know, and who don't know us.
- Nicolas de Chamfort
One advantage in keeping a diary is that you become aware with reassuring clarity of the changes which you constantly suffer.
- Franz Kafka
My background playing soccer gave me a natural advantage over many of the American-born players.
- Hakeem Olajuwon
Conversation
I love those daring people who can keep a conversation going on, no matters how stupid or random. They just continue.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- Dorothy Nevill
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.
- Robert C. Gallagher
The planned sit-down reception is an artificial forum where one is presented with a limited number of persons with whom he can hold a conversation.
- Jerzy Kosinski
I have a contract but it's not a commitment in the ordinary sense. It's our ongoing conversation.
- Diane Sawyer
A pas de deux is a dialogue of love. How can there be conversation if one partner is dumb?
- Rudolf Nureyev
Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know.
- Cullen Hightower
I never knew any painter worthy of the name who paid the smallest attention to what a critic says, even in conversation.
- Robert Baldwin Ross
This is a time for a national conversation. A conversation about the document that binds us as a nation and a people. That document, of course, is the Constitution.
- Mike DeWine
Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
- Mark Twain
There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.
- Rebecca West
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- Dorothy Nevill
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.
- Robert C. Gallagher
The planned sit-down reception is an artificial forum where one is presented with a limited number of persons with whom he can hold a conversation.
- Jerzy Kosinski
I have a contract but it's not a commitment in the ordinary sense. It's our ongoing conversation.
- Diane Sawyer
A pas de deux is a dialogue of love. How can there be conversation if one partner is dumb?
- Rudolf Nureyev
Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know.
- Cullen Hightower
I never knew any painter worthy of the name who paid the smallest attention to what a critic says, even in conversation.
- Robert Baldwin Ross
This is a time for a national conversation. A conversation about the document that binds us as a nation and a people. That document, of course, is the Constitution.
- Mike DeWine
Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
- Mark Twain
There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.
- Rebecca West
Being a Player
'Wonder quotes/remarks about players, being a player and sports.'
"Our dear math, I know that you have too many X's but can you please stop being a player and choose one."
"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages."
- William Shakespeare
"I received a shot and broke my tooth. Unfortunately, we Italians only eat pasta al dente."
- Roberto Baggio
"There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens."
- Tommy Lasorda
"People don't think I've got the brains to be that clever."
- David Beckham
"I'm like money, at the end of the day everybody quite likes me."
- Romario
"For a spring training drill, Yogi instructed his players to: "Pair off in threes"."
- Yogi Berra
"Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental."
- Doug Plank
"Although I wanted my players to work to win, I tried to convince them they had always won when they had done their best."
- John Wooden
"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed."
- African Proverb
"No coach has ever won a game by what he knows; it's what his players know that counts."
- Paul Bryant
"Our dear math, I know that you have too many X's but can you please stop being a player and choose one."
"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages."
- William Shakespeare
"I received a shot and broke my tooth. Unfortunately, we Italians only eat pasta al dente."
- Roberto Baggio
"There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens."
- Tommy Lasorda
"People don't think I've got the brains to be that clever."
- David Beckham
"I'm like money, at the end of the day everybody quite likes me."
- Romario
"For a spring training drill, Yogi instructed his players to: "Pair off in threes"."
- Yogi Berra
"Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental."
- Doug Plank
"Although I wanted my players to work to win, I tried to convince them they had always won when they had done their best."
- John Wooden
"By the time the fool has learned the game, the players have dispersed."
- African Proverb
"No coach has ever won a game by what he knows; it's what his players know that counts."
- Paul Bryant
5 Color Pen
"Me, my friends and my dad did that. So who else had that one 5 color pen and tried to push all the buttons at once."
