Quote for the Day

For God sake - Let's Admit it - We all hope and wish that our exes have horrible lives without us.

My doctor is wonderful. Once when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.
- Joey Bishop



School Faces- Monday :( Tuesday :/ Wednesday :| Thursday :) Friday :D Saturday ^.^ Sunday -_-

Feel my shirt, do you know what material this is? It’s boyfriend material.

Funny 'KARMA' Quotes

We can not escape from the hit of karma. We get what we reap. Here are some hilarious funny quotes about 'Karma'.



When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I wanna be there...just in case it needs help.

It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

I want to be there when karma beats your behind with cactus.

Why does it seem karma bites are so small in comparison?

Karma is a female, sometimes she waits a while but when she's ready she gets you.

Remember don't be a jerk to someone if you don't know anything about them because karma is expert in giving pain.

I love karma and her weird and wonderful ways.

It's just one tragedy after another. You don't know if you are burning off some bad karma from a prior life or died and went to hell.

Dear karma, I have a list of the people you missed.



Karma takes too long, so I'm just gonna beat the crap out of you now.

Funny Wake Up Quotes

'Start your day with Enjoyful funny wake up quotes because it's morning now.'

"Girl you stank, take a bath!"

I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman’s voice said, ‘What the hell are you doing with your life?’
- Demetri Martin

Death is the final wake-up call.
- Douglas Horton

Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen

Time to wake u... 5 minutes more please.

One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

“I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started.”
- Tony Stewart

Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

The way you start your day can affect your whole day… Begin it with a smile, calmness of mind, coolness of emotions and a heart filled with gratitude. Good Morning

3 steps to have a great morning, open your eyes, take a deep breath and go back to sleep. Good Morning :)

Bad Attitude is like a flat tyre. You cannot reach anywhere until you change it. Good Morning.

Funny Quotes on Teenagers

'Teenage is the age of fun, travel, party, affairs, learning, bunks and having lots of gossips with friends. We're sure you'd enjoy these funny quotes about teenagers.'


Party hard, make mistakes, laugh endlessly. Do things you’re afraid to do. After all, you’re only young once.

Whatever.. Sleep less or more! Always feel tired and in need of more sleep.

Home is a place where teenagers go to refuel.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.
- Rita Rudner

Imagination is something that sits up with dad and mom the first time their teenager stays out late.

When you're a teenager, 'No' is a complete sentence.

A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth, but never too tired to hold a phone.


Think positive | Not all goodbyes are sad. Example: Goodbye teacher!

As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too.

Dear restroom, you aren't just a bathroom. You are a place to talk, cry, gossip and escape from my class. Sincerely, teenagers.

Don't bother discussing sex with teenagers, they'll just laugh at how little you know.

Teenage girls are too caught up in being with a guy who's the best for everyone else and not the best for themselves.

Everyone does conversation in the study but why the teacher only hears my voice?

The difference between the teenager and the parent is that the teenager still has the faults the parent outgrew.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

My teens:- In a bedroom: a versatile singer... In the shower: super pop-star.

Teenager with nose ring, baggy clothing and spiked hair to friend: I don't really like dressing like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere they go.

There is always someone whose laugh is funnier than the punch itself!

Hilarious Food Quotes

'The uncontrollable love for food forced authors to write quotes about it. So here are funny food quotes to enjoy the craze for it.'


There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Nutty Quotes

'Adopt the new trend of humor with Nutty and hilarious Quotes to have the instant refreshment.'

1. A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.
~ Ronald Knox

2. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

3. Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?

4. A paper should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

5. Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.

6.

7. Don't take candy from strangers unless they offer you a ride.

8. lI work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

9. You were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good.

10. The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

11. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers

12. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

13. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

14. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

15. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

16. If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

99+ All Time Most Funny Quotes

Well said quotes click on the mind and inspire but when, at the same time, they are funny too, they work like a booster.

So for the all those surfers who look for entertainment (well all), these 99 funniest, spicy, juicy and hilarious funny quotes can really prove good help when they scroll on.

0. Being Lazy and getting award

If there was an award for laziness... I'd probably send someone to pick it up for me.

1. Think Negative

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
~Jerry Seinfeld

2. Someone Needs You? Naaaaah..

When I'm available no one texts me. But when I'm busy... BAM! ... still no one texts me.

3. How they Named?

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?

4. When Laughter becomes Uncontrollable

That awkward moment when you want to laugh but it's completely inappropriate.

5. Defining Comedy

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov

6. Comment Review

"No comment" is a comment



7. Rules of Success

There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know.

8. Try to Be Bad

I heard that you like bad boys. At wall-mart, I enter through the exit doors.



9. Who cares

Don’t like me? Aw cute, how you thought I cared!

10. Toilet talk

What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.

11. Formula of Becoming Billionaire

I can be a billionaire if I get success in inventing that formula that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.

12. Being Cheater

Don't forget my name because, later, you'll need it while screaming.

13. Thinking You're Funny

That weird moment when you realize that you were the only person who thought your punch was funny.

14. Affording Ability

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?

15. Misunderstanding

Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.

16. My Unique Handwriting

They say your handwriting is horrible but they don't understand my creativity. I have invented my unique font style.

17. Yes, Today It is True

Today's Reality:- Big house, Small Family. More Degrees, Less Common sense. Advanced Medicines, Poor Health. Reached Moon, Neighbor Unknown. High income, Less Peace of Mind. High IQ, Less Emotions. Good knowledge, Less Wisdom. Lots on friend on social networking sites, No best fast friend. Increasing population, Less Humanity. Costly Watches, No Time!

18. Studying, Cheating and Repeating

Miss: Do study hard and never cheat. Because It is better to fail than to cheat! Kid: Sorry miss but our philosophy is different. We believe that it is best to cheat than to repeat.

19. Guess and Hope

Confusing moment when you can't hear someone, you just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.

20. Messy Room, Ha Ha

My cousin: How Horrible! Your room is so messed up? Me: This little mess up making you so uncomfortable - Thank God, you have not seen my life yet.

21. Writing Competition

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

22. Giant's Gossip

Search engines: We have everything. Social networks: We know everybody. Connectivity: Without us you guys are nothing. Electricity: How funny!(ROFL)

23. Don't Bother

Oh lots of shits happen. So just flush and move on. (Laughing Really Loud)

24. Reminding of you

Today morning, I saw a piece of shit on the ground and it instantly reminded me of you.

25. That Irritating Friend

Everyone has that friend who borrows your stuff and keeps it as long as borrow it back. (Youngsters most-liked funny quote)

26. Ready to Die

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.

27. Don't Interfere

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.

28. Don't Pressure me

Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

29. About Ignorance

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

30. Almost Done

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

31. Doing Nothing is Possible

Who says nothing is impossible.. I've been doing nothing for years!

32. Not Locking Bathroom Door

That awkward moment when you forget to lock your bathroom door and someone opens and finds you..

33. Dating My Ex?

So you're having dates with my ex? Good. See I am eating in a restaurant, do you want some leftovers too?

34. Jumping Around At School

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.

35. Worst is Yet to Come

If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week.

36. Good Health

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

37. Admiring Your Ugliness

Why are you staring. Nope, I am just admiring how absolutely unattractive you are.

38. In Boxer Only

The awkward moment when you come out from your bathroom in boxer only and your sister's friend stares at you.

39. Not Funny at All

That embarrassing moment when you show someone something really funny and they don’t think it’s funny at all.

40. Death and Statics

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

41. On My Birthday

They hug me, post on wall and treat me like a king/queen on that day. I miss that that one-day popularity on rest of all 364 days. My Birthday. :-(

42. My Imaginations

I think I have some super powers, but just don't know how to activate them?

43. Romance with Cousin

She has stolen my boyfriend's number from my mobile. She is unbelievable. Ha ha ~ Now she is sending romantic texts to her cousin brother.

44. Very Careless Boyfriend

She left me. Why? She said I don't pay any attention to her or something like that, I wasn't really listening.

45. Mosquitoes and Blood

Him: Why there are different types of blood group? Me: Because our dear mosquitoes love variety of flavors.

46. My Tricks

The trick behind my messy room is if someone attempts to harm me he'll trip over and will be caught instantly.

47. Ground Hates

For heaven's sake, keep your head held high because even ground hates to see your face.

48. Being Awesome

When you are good, you are good, when you are awesome you are me.

49. Caps Lock Off

Funniest question ever seen - 'How Do I Turn Off Caps Lock?'

50. Right Brain Left Brain

After starting Engineering - I really like my brain.- Which is divided into 2 parts. Right & Left. In Right nothing is Left and in Left nothing is Right!

51. My Ideas

I hate when others steal my Idea.. Before I think of them.

52. Dreaming a Better Tomorrow

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

53. Marriage - A Trap

Very tough to live life without marriage but after marriage life becomes tougher.

54. My Food Love

You have no idea how happy I get when the microwave beeps and my food is ready. Lmao

55. Monday Stress

Murder should be legal on Mondays.

56. Unavailable Lifestyle

Sorry - The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock!

57. Your Parent's Mistake

When I see you - I get angry with your parents for not using precautions.

58. Standing with Dashing Friend

That hateful moment when your friends look so good and you're just standing besides them, feeling so restless.

59. On Television

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

60. Laughter Com out From Hips

If you suppress your laughter It goes back down to your hips.

61. Too Young

Dear doll, You're 13. Go and blow bubbles.. not boys.

62. Your Importance

You're as meaningful as the 'P' in psycho. (Rolling On Laughing Floor)

63. Changing Answers

That scary moment when you change the answer on test and realize the original answer was right.

64. Your Existence

The only problem with you is that you exist.

65. Under 30

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

66. Worst Date

On date: Fuel: $50 Movie and Burger: $50 Lunch: $30 Entertainment: $50 Room Rent: $200. And the reaction on his face when she reveals she's on her 2nd day.. Speechless!

67. Don't Love me

Don't fall in love me because I can't wake up every day to please you.

68. No More Good Days

Forget about "happily ever after". Nowadays it doesn't exist.

69. On Valentine's Day

I can already smell all the roses I'm not going to receive on Valentine’s day. :-)

70. Like Rest

The reason I fell for you so hard, was that you're not like the rest.

71. Error in Typing

You always remove entire words If you feel You might have mistyped one letter.

72. Continue Laughing

Got hit your head accidentally on something and continue laughing hard.

73. Laughing Alone

That strange moment when you are the only one laughing in the movie.

74. Nothing to Say

Why do people write LOL, when they have nothing else to say.

75. Realizing You are wrong

Confusing moment when you're having an argument with someone and halfway through you realize you're wrong.

76. Making Mistakes again and Again

Hey listen - I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like ten or twenty times, you know, just to be sure.

77. For You I Hate

I dedicate 3 words, 8 letters to you. Go to hell.

78. Getting Drunk

I just wanna get drunk to make bad decisions with you.

79.Mobile is Missing

It makes your heart beat faster when you Check your right pocket and find that your phone is not there.

80. Shut Up Please

I want top play that shut up game with you. You go first.

81. Why The Hell They Live

The problem with some people is that they are breathing.

82. Chap and Hard

You often buy cheaper phones because they are harder to break.

83. Checking Something

I don't stalk - I observe.

84. Relationship's Life

Relationships nowadays: First week: I love you honey. Second week: Together forever. Third week: Single and In search.

85. Sing of Over drunk

You know you are drunk when your cat barks.

86. Always Hungry

I'm so hungry. Didn't you just eat? Yeah, so?

87. For Singles

Singles always love to mingle.

88. When They Ignore You

I love when they ignore me.. It really makes me feel so special.

89. Hating Morning

I don’t like morning people... or mornings... or people.

90. Flirty Girls

The girl who looks so simple and sweet is the girl who has 4 boyfriends.

91. Not liking someone but still you have to be nice

I really feel helpless when I have to be nice to someone I really want to throw a brick at.

92. Disliking You

I really dislike you from the bottom of my heart.

93. Insulting them

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.

94. SO Confused

That awkward moment when you can't decide if you're sad or mad.

95. Being Lazy

You tend to say 'I don't know' when you just too lazy to think.

96. Looking Suspiciously

Why do they look at me with suspicious eyes when I get good marks on a test.

97. My Capabilities

I may look nice to you but don't underestimate me. You have no idea what I'm capable of.

98. Girls Behavior

Girls hate each other for no reason.

99. Ignoring Someone

"Call you later" simply means "Stop talking to me".

100. One Bad Person

There is always one person in everyone's life who ruins their whole entire day or week or year.

101. Annoy Me

Now is NOT a good time to annoy me.

102. Note On Beauty Parlor

Note written at wall of beauty parlor "Do not whistle at the girl going out from here because she might be your grand mom.

I am really very good, nice and silent while sleeping.

Their thumb automatically dance when they don’t know how to answer anything.

Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in.

Don't stop your laughter because here is lot more to continue having Short funny Quotes for Laughter and enjoyment.

31 Funny 'KNOCKED UP' Quotes

We have collected 31 most funniest 'Knocked up' quotes from to make you laugh again. It successfully entertained the people and rated as number one in comedy genre. Let us know your reaction by leaving your sweet comments.

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1.
Debbie: [to Alison] Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?

2.
Ben Stone: [to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...
Alison Scott: Okay, just stop talking.

When I die

When I die I give my friend permission to go on my Twitter/Facebook to mess people mind says 'I'm alive'

Mini heart attack

That mini heart attack you get when your parents say : "We need to talk."

Funny Kids Quotes

'Kids are wonderful creature of God. They are so pure and innocent. Here you can read funny kids quotes and saying to get amused.'

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No mom, I wasn't 'kissing' him, he stole my gum, I was just trying to get it back.



Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
- Phyllis Diller

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone. So moving my seat won't help.

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.

Life is hard no matter how old you are.

You shouldn't expect your turtle to come back if you put him in a stream.

Dirty looks,
jealous stares,
its funny,
when you think I care.

You should never laugh at your dad if he's mad or screaming at you.

No matter how much I love something, mom will throw it away without a second's thought.

You shouldn't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Love is like a new diaper
for a while it feels good and fresh
but eventually it really stinks!

It's not always easy being a kid, but I bet it's even harder being an adult.

You should never tell your parents when you're curious about girls because many lectures will come in the future.

If you put a frog in a girl's desk, you're going to hear some screaming.

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Never argue

Never argue with a Fool.. People might not know the difference.

Slap someone

If you really, really want to slap someone, Do it. Just make sure to say ‘Mosquito’ when you do.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells and both think they are astute. - William Feather

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. - Mahatma Gandhi

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

The best way to lie is to tell the truth, Carefully edited truth..

Apple: I look like a human heart. Mango: I look like a stomach. Grapes: I look like eyes. Banana: I don't like this game..

I have the kick-ass ability to forget people's names in .001 seconds.

No, I'm not being immature, I'm having fun. You should try it

I hate when I finish an awesome movie and after that I have to face the reality of my boring life

When Life gives you Lemons. Squeeze them in people's eyes.

Rules of Math.. If it seems easy. You are doing it Wrong

Yawning is like your body's way of saying 18% battery left

Shortest Jokes

Technology is changing so our reading-style too. We want everything slimmer, short and easier than before. Well, that's good because no one has enough time read such long stuff. Things should be easy and less time consuming. So now we've done some manipulation in our joking style too. After writing Jokes, we are now trying to write some shortest possible jokes ever. Now you can very easily read, use, recall and share them.

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1. I often stuck-up in situation where I'm left alone with someone I just met.

2. Woman driving and man in the kitchen means a big mess!

3. My girlfriend in shape... just the wrong one.

4. If you want to impress me with technology, first do something to make my phone charges automatically.

5. There is always that one person around who takes a few minutes to get the joke.

6. Fatty girl: I would love to lose weight, but you know, I hate losing!

7. I need you. I want you. I love you... Dear Food!

8. D.R.A.M.A. means Dumb Retards Asking for More Attention.

9. Why should I fall in love when I can fall asleep?

10. Sometime you've to do that fake laugh when an old man tells a bad joke.

11. Girls, you're 13. You should be losing teeth, not your virginity.

12. Roses are red, Grass is greener, I think of you when I touch my wiener.

13. Cool story bro, You should tell it to someone else.

14. I am not saying you are fat girl, I am just saying if I were to lift 4 fattest girls I know you'd be 3 of them.

15. Once a short height man gets over emotional while watching a movie and than he committed suicide. The name of the movie was 'Honey I shrunk the kids!'

16. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to be avoid, others I'd love to punch in the face!

17. Can a boy and girl be just friends? Only if girl is ugly.

18. Oh, money can't buy you happiness? Well, so does poverty can buy you anything?

19. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.

20. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

21. A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

22. He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

23. The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

24. Don't be so humble--you are not that great.

25. You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.

Outstanding Funny Quotes By Leading Authors

'Here's the Funny, Joyous and Gut-Buster collection of hilarious Quotes and saying by leading authors and top flicks.'

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
– George Burns

The trouble with censor that they they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
- Marilyn Monroe

12 Playful Excuses for Being Late

'Some people are too good at giving excuses while others are so dumb that they get caught in a second. Read here list of those playful excuses.'

1. I got in a fight with my wife. After that fight, she decided to get revenge by burning all of your clothes and I certainly can't come to work naked.

2. You didn't call to wake me up.



3. My dog died and I had to take him to the vet to get cremated.

Clever 1 liners to attract her

'Guys often use lots of techniques to impress girls but they don't say right thing at right time. So if you too want to attract her than here are clever one liners to attract and impress her.'

1. I've observed that you always like to have less sugar in tea.

2. Your style of responding is so good. I like your attentiveness.

3. I am noticing from the start about your elegant style and impressive dressing sense. Are your family is related to fashion industry or something?

4. Whatever you're saying - Say it with confident and proper eye contact with a little smile on your face.

5. Your smile is unique.

6. You are looking more gorgeous than yesterday.

7. I'm not the best-looking guy here but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. Thanks God You're not engaged yet!

9. Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!

10. I am not the best for you but I'll try my best to do the best for you.

11. For you, I'm always ready to do anything..

12. Do you like my hair style?

13. If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

14. I remember everything you say and I save each of your text.

15. Did you ever look at someone and just wonder 'Wow, let me take off your pants"?

16. Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.

Fifteen Funny Quotes For Day To Day Life

'15 Hilarious Funny Life Quotes to have enjoyment, laughter and fun in day to day life. Amusing quote i.e. Sometimes I Laugh so hard that I feel like six pack is coming on.'

• If I die today, for the love of God, someone please clear my browser history.
• I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
• 
• I trust my dog to guard home but never when it comes to pizza.
• Admit it.. You've Googled yourself.
• Mae were born between a woman's leg and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them There is not place like home.
• Farts: The screams of trapped poop.
• That awkward moment when a teacher tries to be funny.
• Vodka mixes well everything, except decisions.
• Sometimes I Laugh so hard that I feel like six pack is coming on.
• I am not a slow person. I just have a speed limit.
• No matters how old you are, when ketchup bottle farts, It's funny.
• Forgetting to remove you contact lenses and waking up the next morning thinking your blindness was cured.
• I wish I could forgot you like i forget everything I studied right before exams.
• I am actually not funny. I am actually really mean and people just think I am joking.
• I was born a week early, so I have been running late ever since to make up for it.
  

#. Don't smoke cigarettes there are cooler ways to die.

#. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

#. Excuse me, I found your nose. It was in my business.... again.

#. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!

#. Maybe I’ll become an evil genius and destroy the world and THEN I’ll feel better.

#. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

#. My Reality Check bounced.

#. My life’s really not so awful–it just seems that way when I’m awake.

#. Never trust a person who isn’t having at least one crisis.

Alluring love quotes For Her to make her chase you

'What girls want? Just someone who can appreciate their dressing-sense, praise their beauty and love them unconditionally, so here are rare and specially chosen alluring love quotes for her to magnetize and hypnotize her.'



That one person who can make you smile and laugh no matter what, even on your worst days.


Do you work for NASA? Cause honey, you're out of this world..

I love you and these 3 words contain everything.



My girl should rather have beauty than brain, because I can see better than I can think.

I was blinded by your beauty, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

There isn't a word in the dictionary for how beautiful you look.

Forget about the past, it's done. Make yourself a brighter future by focusing on the present.

I want to be the only hand you ever need to hold.

A girl is happiest when she knows that you make her your everything. In front of everyone, every time.

You don’t need someone who can complete you, You need someone who can accept you completely.

I can’t lose you. Because if I ever did, I’d have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my everything.

Save your heart for someone who really cares.

You have no idea how much I like you, how much you make me smile, how much I love talking to you or how much I wish you were mine.

There's somebody that's meant for you. There's somebody out there that's perfect for you.

By the way, I'm wearing the smile you gave me.

I fell in love with you, I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know where but I did.

Most relationships fail not because of absence of love, but because girls love too much and boys love too many.

I always imagine my world with you so come and make it live.

I still remember all the promises you made.

I am working hard not for position but for you.

Hug me. This is my life.

Why can't you come with me, tight now. I just need you.

You live in my hart and I care for you like I never cared for anyone else.

I can walk with you , saying nothing and feeling the ultimate time of my life.

When we talk, I find myself missing in your eyes.

Can we continue loving as we used to?

Realistic Friendship Quotes

'Share and enjoy these most realistic friendship quotes to spend good and funny times with them. They gonna make your bonding more stronger. You must dedicate some of these so that your friends could know how much you value them. Freedom, enjoyment, love, care and Express as you want - this is what happens here in this relation.'

Here we go:


"Best Friends.. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be you in Public."


"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate
- Charles Dickens"



"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
- Henry Ford
This friendship quote lime lights the real quality of a good friend. The people who really care about you always want that you achieve highest level of success. They really know what your qualities are and help you in awaking them. And if you find just one person like that.. you are through!

"He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back."
- Thomas Fuller
Everyone appraise you on your face but only true people say good words about you when you are there. True friends can never tolerate any bad word against you. They always appreciate you even in your absence. So find out those noble people and hold them tightly.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C.S. Lewis
You go somewhere, do the things you like. But when you notice that someone else is also doing the same things you like, you find them interesting. Same interests attract, It is but natural. So you go and ask: 'Hey you too like that'? That is where first step of friendship starts. So never miss a chance to introduce yourself.

"I don't even need to insult you. Your face speaks for itself."

"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat." - Erma Bombeck

"How do I look? Friend: Fine. Good Friend: Really Perfect. Best Friend: You look so strange! Lol"

"Lord if I can't be skinny, Make my friends look fat."

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
- Aristotle

"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
- Muhammad Ali

"She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind."
- Toni Morrison

"Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts."
- Margaret Lee Runbeck

"To cement a new friendship, especially between foreigners or persons of a different social world, a spark with which both were secretly charged must fly from person to person, and cut across the accidents of place and time."
- Cornelia Otis Skinner

"Friendship's the privilege of private men; for wretched greatness knows no blessing so substantial."
- Nahum Tate

"I think in friendship, you want to be there for your friend, and sometimes you just don't know what to do or the relationship you have with them is not clear enough for you to know what to do."
- Marion Cotillard

"One friend in a lifetime is much, two are many, three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim."
- Henry Adams

"The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Everyone has that one friend who you greet with an insult."

Friends show thier love in times of Trouble, not in Happiness...

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

F For Funny LOL

'Enjoy with funny, iconic, latest, sweet and never shared before quotes with images.'

I heard you are a player. Nice to meet you. I am the Coach.


Everyday I make promise I'll go to bed early. Every night I break.


When I wake up in the morning and stretch, I make baby dinosaur noises.


That one friends you have that always says "I'm never drinking again" after party.


What doesn't kill you makes you smaller.


That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and you laughing at same time.


Best joke ever: My love life.


Girls are most talented creature on earth. Because they listen half, understand quarter but explain it double.


I told myself I wouldn't give one dash today... so far so good!


Can you do me a favor? Stand in front of my car. I need to test my breaks.


A quiet man is thinking man. A quite woman is usually mad.

Twenty Short Funny Life Quotes

'There is a big difference between taking breath and living life perfectly. God has not send us on earth to live an ordinary life. We all are capable of doing remarkable things but fear, doubts and lack of imaginations drag us back. We really need to read something which let us know about our powers. Well, then these Life Quotes can really gear-up us while putting positive energy to accomplish our desires. With twenty most hilarious, funny and short life quotes, you can spread happiness, awareness while leaving your footprints everywhere.'

-9. Someone asked me what you used to do before marriage? Me: I got emotional and replied: Whatever I liked..

-8. Hearing about daughter in law's 2 affairs - Husband got dies.. Hearing about 4 affair of daughter inn law's - Father in law got died.. But Mother in law was quit.... Why.... Because she was used to be daughter in law....
'Nutshell, Shock happens everywhere at every step if life...'

-7. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
In Depth: Yes, everyone is dying for success so if you are.. 1st, you must follow above three rules to succeed. You must have a wish, an imagination, a vision. 2nd, you must be healthy, your backbone should be strong enough to bear all hiccups and the last but not least.. you must have that sense of humor. Yes, you must be capable of laughing and making people laugh. This gonna add a very strong point in your victory.

-6. Success in life generally creates arrogance, and the full potential of one's growth is lessened. Beware of this.

-5. Life is short, SMILE while you still have teeth.
Yes, day, months and years pass like water falls from mountain. So we must en-cash every moment of life with lots of laugh and fun. These things make it so live and beautiful.

-4. It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men. - Mae West
What a deep thought! Your power of making things interesting really counts. Your positive attitude, capability of resolving problems and will to live everyday really differentiate you from others.

-3.) Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me, I'll laugh at you.
A jolly person finds a reason in every situation to laugh. Although there are lots of hurdles in every step so what! If you dare to go, you can. You have to do all possible or impossible things in this one life. So never think too much, just do it.

-2.) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. - Tori Filler
So practical. We should not worry in going forward in any tough task. Just do it with full energy and positivity without thinking of results. Two things are for sure either success or a wonderful experience for next big thing.

-1.) Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. - George Bernard Shaw
Living simple is easy but it needs gut to dare to live a different life. Sometimes alcohol helps you to express what you are. Don't believe this? Ask you listeners who were in you company last night!

0.) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
This quote says that always have a safe side for yourself so that when you feel like dying, you can leave that path. Enjoy but take good care of all other things.

1.) Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
- Josh Billings

1a.) Last night I dream I was eating a giant marshmallow... When I woke up my pillow was gone.

2.) Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
-Yiddish Proverb

2a.) If you can not see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

3.) I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

3a.) I didn't trip I was just testing gravity... yeah well it still works!

4.) Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest.
- John Walters

5.) I feel that life is short, so we should be disciplined, but at the same time we should have a good time.
- Wyclef Jean

5a.) An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.

6.) Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
- Christopher Isherwood

6a.) I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

7.) Time is long but life is short.
- Stevie Wonder

7a.) Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

8.) Country people do not behave as if they think life is short; they live on the principle that it is long, and savor variations of the kind best appreciated if most days are the same.
- Edward Hoagland

9.) Life is short, and it is here to be lived.
- Kate Winslet

10.) Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
- Lou Erickson

10.a) Is there a meaning to life? Sure, but it probably has something to do with corned beef.

11.) People always say life is short. I've never been convinced of that - mine seems to have a tendency to go on and on.
- John Malkovich

12.) I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles Schulz

13. Yes, you can lose somebody overnight, yes, your whole life can be turned upside down. Life is short. It can come and go like a feather in the wind.
- Shania Twain

14.) Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

15.) Life is short. Ricky and I realize how lucky we were. We want to be together all the time.
- Christie Brinkley

16.) Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers quotes

17.) Life is short. I'm 47 years old. I've got 10 years to go where I can be the best I can be. I want those 10 years to be precious, not like before, cranking two or three movies a year. I've made a ton of movies in my life, but so what?
- Jean Claude Van Damme

18.) Life is short and progress is slow.
- Gabriel Lippmann

19.) I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.
Doug E. Fresh

20.) Life is short and if you're looking for extension, you had best do well. 'Cause there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell.
- Ben Harper

When I was younger I probably didn't understand something basic about tact, but I think it kept faint-hearted people at arm's distance and that's not such a bad thing, because life is short and I know the kind of people I want to work with.
- Debra Winger



Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.
- Michael Caine

I'm not trying to impress you, but I can say "Voldemort" out loud.

Snowmen must be keeping their money in Snow banks!

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
- Hermione Gingold

Quotes about Funny - Top and Best Post 2

"The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'"
- Adam Carolla

"The fans of 'The Hunger Games,' of the book, are very passionate. It's funny: Even at my concerts there are people holding up 'Cinna' signs."
- Lenny Kravitz

"The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny."
- Joan Jett

"You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough."
- Eminem

"The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible."
- David Ogilvy

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world."
- Jean Baudrillard

"I don't think I'm funny."
- Liam Neeson

"There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny."
- Larry David

"I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids."
- Katy Perry

"What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny."
- David Sedaris

"Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you."
- Joan Rivers

"I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny."
- Craig Ferguson

"I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?"
- Andy Warhol

"You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University."
- Kerry Washington

"The British are so funny. It's like they can't believe I lived in Hackney. 'You could live in Bondi Beach. Why would you want to live in 'Ackney?' But Hackney's fantastic. I'm serious. There are so many artists there. I loved the markets, the parks, the pubs, the diversity. It was a cultural melting-pot."
- Rose Byrne

"I would like to do something modern and possibly funny."
- Dan Stevens

"Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them."
- Nancy Meyers

Quotes about Funny - Top and Best

'Share and enjoy top and best funny happy quotes to best hours of laughter.'

"I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life."
- Lalu Prasad Yadav

"It's funny, I get really nervous when I audition for voiceovers."
- Julie Benz

"It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me personally, after I did Andy Richter, one of the next things I did was a show called 'Quintuplets' for a season for Fox, and this was while 'Arrested Development' was on. I used to go over and hang out on their set."
- Andy Richter

"I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side."
- Parker Posey

"A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it."
- Ivan Reitman

"When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'"
- Susan Sarandon

"A funny thing happened on the way to the election - I got to the Senate first."
- Pierre Salinger

"Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching."
- Ivan Reitman

"Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents."
- Roger Federer

"In the happy scenes there were really fun times. Sean would say really funny stuff because he likes to improv. I would want to laugh, but you are not allowed to do that during the take."
- Dakota Fanning

"When I first started I was always known as The Girl on the Sitcom with the Funny Voice."
- Julie Benz

"When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen."
- Nate Silver

"I grew up in a funny way."
- Gordon Ramsay

"Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting."
- Bill Gates

"The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome."
- Amanda Seyfried

"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
- Jim Carrey

Quotes, Texts and Proposals of Love

Love starts with the first breath we take in this world or even before it in mother's belly. We love our mother, father and family members. As we grow, we start liking and loving and our friends. Than we find someone special and feel an attraction. This may be love or just an infatuations. Well, time is better judge in this case. We can help you in sharing some unique, clean and adorable ways of expressing Love to make you more better/loyal in this field. You can read - Love Quotes, Love texts and Love Proposals. This stuff is going to make you more expressive and everyone loves you when you say everything you feel about them. Life is short so don't wait for any right time. If anyone make you feel butterflies in your tummy, you must go and tell them. Unsaid word can not give you good results.




Love Quotes

"There is something special about your hug. It is the cure for my all disease. My stress busts with your touch. Your eyes make me feel so relaxed."

"Love doesn't say that you both should stay together 24*7. It teaches you how to understand one another's and how to adjust in distances. It is the feeling belongs to heart not bodies."

"You're the wonderful gift for me and I always going to take good care of you. I;ll make sure that nothing could hurt you. All troubles, coming for you, need to fight with me."

"I really find each day too short for all of the thoughts I want to share, all of the walks I want to take with you, all of the moments I want to create with you."

"You love me and I love you - It is blessing of God. May our bonding keep on being stronger and more stronger."


True bonding does not require a sweet voice or cute faces. It only needs a beautiful
responsible heart with lots of love."

Love Texts

"Just finished my dinner and now in my bed waiting for your text so that I can share my heartiest feelings with you."

"Hey where were you whole day? I was into your heart."

"You know when you say something to me with your eyes, you look damn beautiful. Your smile, style and innocent talks always live in my heart and mind."

"Everyone is sleeping around me and I am messaging you because it gives me an ultimate pleasure. I feel so important when I receive your reply."

"I realized real purpose of my life when you came into it.

"Do you know when you send 'bye' me still wait for another text..
When you look back, I still wait for another kiss."

Love Proposals

"Yesterday I saw you and I spent whole night thinking about you. Somehow I feel that you too like me. Can we date?"

"I don't say that I am the best person for you but yes I can say it confidentially that no one can love and care for you as much I do."

"I tried a lot but can not live away form you so will you be my girl so I could love you for the rest of my life."

"I this shopping mall, front of big crowd, I proudly saying you - Will you make my my heaven on this earth by being my better half?"

"I am too shy to express my love for you. Will you accept me as I am?"